Alright folks, it's time. Time to tell you the birth story.
Honestly, I went into pregnancy rather unwillingly. It wasn't in my plan, I'm not naturally a kid person. So when pregnancy was "sprung" upon me I was terrified. Not of pregnancy, not of labor. I was terrified of the baby. It sounds totally silly now that I think about it, but I was legitimately afraid of not liking my own child. But that's a whole 'nother enchilada. The only reason I say that was to let you know that I wasn't really afraid of labor.
That being said, I did not particularly enjoy being pregnant (there is a point to all of this...hang with me for a sec). Constant nausea, rhinitis of pregnancy (couldn't breathe through my nose for 7 months), severe hydronephrosis, a dislike of doctors (who were a seemingly constant companion), severe heartburn, swelling...you name it, I had it. Except throwing up. That was good. You can imagine then that by the time 36 weeks rolled around I was ready to get that baby out! ...and then when 37 weeks rolled around I was even more ready! ...and 38, and 39, and 40... By 40 weeks I was pretty much ready for the loony bin. So at 41 weeks when this child still had not come I was on the verge of giving myself a c-section. Seriously. All this time I had felt maybe one contraction. Yeah. Not what I was expecting either.
Finally 10 (long...long...) days AFTER my due date I was induced. That wasn't in the plan either. I was totally and absolutely dead-set on going au naturale. Until I was 10 days overdue, then I was just like "get this thing out by any means necessary!". I still wanted to go as natural as possible (a.k.a. no pain meds) even with the pitocin. I had spent about 5 months of the pregnancy researching natural birthing techniques and watching every Ina May Gaskin youtube video I could find, so I felt prepared. I probably could have birthed the baby on my own with all the research I had done and with as many births I had watched on various blogs and the like, not that I wanted to. When I learned I had to be induced I was fairly discouraged. Most inductions end with epidurals and a high percentage end in c-section which was really, really not in the plan. However, I knew that it was necessary and that no matter what I just wanted a healthy baby in my arms at the end of it.
The hospital scheduled me for Monday, April 14th at 5:00 a.m. (ew.). We lived a half hour from the hospital so we got up (who am I kidding, I didn't sleep a wink) and headed out the door. If you didn't already know this we were living in northern Wisconsin, so north that the hospital was in the U.P. of Michigan. We had planned on leaving at 4:30 since that would get us to the hospital right on time. So as we stepped out the door promptly at 4:30 in the morning we were not anticipating having 4 inches of slushy snow on the ground. Yes. It snowed. On April 14th. Ugh. After a highly intense trek through the frozen tundra we arrived at the hospital 15 minutes late (it was either that or not at all, and I was getting to that hospital whatever it took!). I was admitted, given my lovely blue gown, hooked up to some monitors and an IV (not my favorite) and sent into the bed to be monitored a little. After a few minutes of observation they told me that I was actually already in labor, with contractions coming 2 minutes apart and lasting for about 50 seconds a contraction. I was very surprised at this news because I wasn't feeling a thing! They hooked me up to the pitocin and started it at the lowest dose to see if I would make any progress before they resorted to breaking my water.
And so we waited. Alex and I got bored just staring at the contraction monitor so we turned on the TV. After about an hour it started to dawn on me that I was in labor, even though I wasn't feeling anything. So we turned the TV off and stared at the contraction monitor some more. I got up and swayed and walked and sat on the birthing ball for a while. Finally at 8 a.m. they came in to check me and assess whether they would break my water or not. They decided that breaking my water would help things progress and so they broke it. It really helped things progress but I still wasn't feeling anything. Literally nothing. I would look at the monitor to see if I was having a contraction. Somewhere along the way I stopped looking and Alex would just keep me updated. "You're having a contraction now. Oh, it's a good one! Do you feel it?". Nope.
Around 12 p.m. things started to pick up and I was dilated to a 6. The nurse decided to have me try some different positions to see if that would help get things moving even faster. She checked me an hour later and asked me if I felt like I needed to push. Honestly, I didn't know what that meant, but I didn't think I felt like I needed to push. I was finally just starting to feel the contractions, so surely it wasn't time to push, right? She checked me at 1 p.m. and told me I needed to lay in this weird, pretzel position with a towel under my side which really got my contractions going. That was the first time the whole day that I finally felt like maybe I needed some pain meds, but Alex was my constant and kept reminding me that I didn't want them and kept giving me other things to focus on. My best coping mechanism was "horsey lips". Now before you get all weirded out, it just meant that I took a deep breath in and then buzzed my lips on the exhale so it sounded like the sound a horse makes. Ina May Gaskin taught me that one...she's so nice.
The nurse knew what she was doing because after about half an hour on my side I was really feeling contractions and was dilated to an 8, at which point she asked if I felt like I needed to push again. Still thinking that things were supposed to hurt for a lot longer than this I may have been in denial that it was time to push. I thought I needed to suffer a little longer! Silly me. She told me that she could see the baby's hair and that I needed to push, whether I felt like it or not.
So I pushed. They tell you not to push through your face, and I really attempted not to. But who are they kidding? There was no conceivable way to not push through my face. I made a blowfish face every push. So embarrassing...but in the moment I could have cared less. All I was focused on was pushing. With every ounce of my being. After an hour the doctor came in to see how I was progressing and decided that I was close enough for him to stay. The rest of the pushing is a bit of a blur, I remember one incredible moment of crowning and then seeing my baby for the first time. The nurses and doctor were in a flurry but I didn't even notice. They handed me that crying bundle of baby and the whole world melted away. My fears of not liking my own baby became laughable. That beautiful, slimy, wiggling, little boy that I was holding in my arms was mine. All mine. That was the moment when I decided that I like labor. I truly enjoyed it. Not because of labor itself, but because of the miracle of childbearing. God has so blessed women with the ability to carry and birth a child. A human being. God made a human being inside of me and designed me so that I could bring that child into the world and care for it. Amazing. Elam Tadd was born at 3:23 p.m. on April 14th, 2014 weighing 8 pounds even and 20 inches long. Alex got to cut the umbilical cord and take some pictures while the nurses got me cleaned up and delivered the placenta. That wasn't a pleasant experience but I was totally distracted by watching the nurses clean E up and weigh and measure him.
My enjoyment was a little tainted when they told me that I was in need of stitches, but they let me hold E the whole time and I barely felt a thing (unless I thought about it...). Second degree tear with 3 layers of stitches. Yeesh.
My amazing husband was involved through the whole labor. He never left my side. Holding my hand, giving me ice chips (which I may have been a little difficult about...) and all of the post care such as making sure I had food and water and helping me 'walk' around and get to necessary places. He was my rock, I couldn't have made it without him.
My nurses were also amazing, so knowledgeable and kind. They really cared about Alex and I and E.
My doctors (I saw three different ones during my pregnancy and hospital stay) were also fantastic. The doctor that delivered E had already delivered 10 babies that weekend, and within a 2 hour span delivered 3 more including E. He was so calm and collected that you would have thought that I was the only one in delivery that day.
I would also like to shamelessly endorse prenatal chiropractic here. I'm not sure if that's what made my labor so easy or not, but I certainly don't want to find out. I went to my chiropractor religiously every week for the last trimester. Not only did it help with all the aches and pains of pregnancy, I am quite convinced that it helped significantly with my labor and recovery.
Group text from Alex: "E was born :-) 8.0 pounds 20 inches mom and baby doing great! Haven't completely decided on the name yet :-)"
I realize that many other women have horrible, painful labors. I'm very thankful that I was not one of them, but I admire them for their striving through labor. I feel like I had it really easy (except for the second degree tearing and 3 layers of stitches...that wasn't easy).
So when people ask me if I would do it again, I say "Not for a while, but definitely". I hesitate not because of labor, but because of pregnancy!
